Monday, May 28, 2007

ultra-ultrasound

Tomorrow's a big day- our first ultrasound. The baby is at just the right "age" that we should be able to see a heartbeat, if there is one. I know I sound negative, and I know my friends who are so into that book "the Secret" would chide me for this kind of "if" talk, but it's self-preservation. Scot and I are saying things like "wow, tomorrow is going to be weird". What we really are dealing with though, is fear and ambivalence- we both know that the good news, in this situation, is MUCH scarier than the bad news- so how do you prepare for something like that?
We've not had good experiences with ultrasounds- it was there that we learned our first baby was heartbeat-less. It was tragic and horrifying, a moment that I know we'll never forget- and that makes it hard to look forward to tomorrow's events.
But we'll see. Either way. We'll know something more by this time tomorrow.

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