Secrets? I got secrets.

For instance, I yawn almost every time I say the Lord's Prayer. Somewhere in the middle. I remember the day it started, I must have been 7 years old or so, really young. I was in the front room of our old house, reading something by the hall light, which I did every night. I must have decided it was time to pray and turn in, but when I prayed the Our Father, I couldn't get through it without yawning. I felt awful! I mean, how disrespectful is that? The more I tried to make it through the prayer without yawning, the more I would yawn. I went to sleep hoping it was just a one-time thing.
But now I'm 37 years old, and I still yawn in the middle of the Lord's Prayer. It's kind of amazing what your mind can do. Watch, I'll try right now:
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by Thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
YAWN.....
See?

I have other secrets, like the fact that often when I am supposed to be solemn and serious, I think of the funniest, worst-case-scenario, and it makes me laugh so hard I lose complete control of my self. For instance, once at a parish retreat when the speaker was painfully, dreadfully boring, I imagined what would happen if I fell asleep from boredom, slipped forward, hit my head on the pew in front of me, slid to the floor and bled all over the place. I pictured the faces of the people around me, stunned, and thought about the speaker going home and shuffling through his index cards, thinking, "I have GOT to liven up this talk!" I laughed so hard that I was crying and snorting, and no one but me knew what I was laughing about, except for the fact that it couldn't be the boring talk that everyone else was listening to! Ah, I have such happy times in my head.

Well, that's enough about me... yawn, snicker... for tonight...