I'm going on a Sophomore retreat this weekend. But this year, I'm a mere adult team member, rather than the Director. It's a weird feeling. I guess I should be celebrating that I don't have to worry over the usual retreat worry stuff like cancellations, weather, parent freak-outs, etc. etc. etc... but you know, I'm feeling sad.
It's weird to sit in the planning meetings and not be in charge- weird to curb my reflex to jump in and, well... direct. I have so many great suggestions and loads of feedback and ideas to give. But I'm not the director. This retreat already has a great couple of directors and they don't need me to jump in. In fact, I'm not even really needed on this retreat. So not only am I not the director, I'm not, specifically, anything. (Okay I will be taking the photos for the weekend. There.)
So, for me, this weekend will be yet another exercise in how to not be a Youth Minister, the very thing that I am at heart, the thing I'm most qualified to be, the place where I am most comfortable. I know I'll have a fun weekend, and I am looking forward to it, and you know, maybe I'll end up enjoying that non-stress after all.