When I was little I thought countries declared war- now I know that's not true. Now I know that leaders of countries declare war, and people do the dirty work for them.I hear about the hatred of America and think "but... I wasn't FOR this war! I don't WANT to be at war! Don't hate me!"
I also thought that adults didn't lie, or pick their noses- turns out I was wrong about those too. (Let's face it, fingers can do what kleenex can't!)
I thought that song "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights" was about baseball- and I thought, in a baseball game, that a "Walk" meant that the batter hit the ball so far out of the park that he could walk around the bases without worrying about getting tagged out.
I thought that plain, ground, crumbled hamburger was yummy.
I thought thirty was Totally Grown-Up.
I've learned a lot since then- I was way off on a lot of the things I believed as a kid! But, in retrospect, I'm glad that I had those kid-beliefs before learning the Truth. The things that I thought then were a nice, cozy foundation for the truth I was to take in later on in life.
I've been thinking about my image of God, in light of the CS Lewis book I read- he said that your image of God needs to be smashed over and over, so it can grow. He said that if you forever settle on a high-school or childhood image of God, He won't be big enough to handle your grown-up problems- meaning you'll not be able to trust Him because you've limited the size He can be in your world.
When I was little, God looked and felt a lot like a Grandfather. In high school I fell head over heels in love with God- He was a lover (not in the dirty way!), a partner, a friend, a sympathetic confidante. When my faith in the Church was at crisis point, He was like Puppy, my old stuffed dog that I slept with for far too many years as a kid- comforting, stable, grounding. Now He is like a wise professor. For a long time I yearned for the God I envisioned in high school, but now I know I was looking at God the wrong way- in a way that He and I had outgrown.
But I'm glad I had those kid-beliefs before learning the ever-evolving Truth of who God is. My relationship with God, like so many of my most important relationships, is cumulative. One new image doesn't exactly wipe out the last. God didn't totally stop being Grandpa, or Puppy, or my sympathetic friend.
I kind of can't wait to see Who He will be next.