God Is

One thing I realized this weekend was how so many of my most intimate moments with God have happened in crowds. There is something about a crowd of people reciting the words of a prayer together, 2500+ people this weekend who not only knew the prayers by heart, but meant them by heart- that makes me just quiver. You know that anything in unison effects me somehow, that marching bands and people clapping make me cry. But singing with a crowd of people, songs that praise God and connect with Him, really sends me.
This weekend I went looking to reconnect with God, longing for that feeling of being loved and chosen and supported and known by God. Of all the private prayer that I have participated in, it was the music and being little me just one of a couple thousand people that helped me find that feeling. There is real comfort in being around "my people", knowing that we all get the same inside jokes and share the same frustrations and challenges, along with "getting" why we all do what we do, a common sharing of a vision. But somehow I can feel and know that through the songs, the speakers, the images, that God is speaking directly into my ear. I feel recognized by Him, sought out by Him, like He is shining a spotlight on me.

The song that has been God's telegram to me over the past several years has been Danielle Rose's "God Is". The lyrics are:

You want to know Me- You want to see My face-
I do not age with time; I do not fit into a space
I transcend the capacity of your eye, so who am I?
It is the question of the moment;
It is the question for all time
I am you, and you are mine

I am the beginning and the end
I am the faith in your believing
I am the color of truth
I am the dreamer of your dreams
I am the falling in your love
I am the words of a prayer
I am the silence in the music
I am the music in the silence

I am your father; I am your mother
I am the man who cannot cry
I am the story in your eyes
I am the orphan of war
I am the leper begging on the corner
I am the black slave in chains
I am the Muslim bride who cannot show her face
I'm the cross you carry again

I am the beginning and the end
I am the faith in your believing
I am the color of truth
I am the dreamer of your dreams
I am the falling in your love
I am the words of a prayer
I am the silence in the music
I am the music in the silence

I'm all you have forgotten
I am all that you have not been
I am in you - all of this in within you
Let the journey begin, Amen
I am in you, Amen

I am the beginning and the end
I am the faith in your believing
I am the color of truth
I am the dreamer of your dreams
I am the falling in your love
I am the words of a prayer
I am the silence in the music
I am the music in the silence

The song is beautiful, cut and paste this link into your browser to hear a sample of it: http://www.catholicmusicnetwork.com/cmn_cd_detail.asp?PRODUCT_ID=10123

The chorus is kind of a chant, and her voice is beautiful, and I hear God telling me "stop questioning me. I am in charge. I know what I am doing. I am everything you need."
It was with this song that God reached my little walnut heart 4 years ago at the Denver conference, and I almost gasped when I heard it again this year- ahhhhhhh right. That's right.