A few weeks ago I stood at the back of my church and listened as my pastor, in his homily, told the congregation that my marriage is invalid, because I don't want to have kids. Okay, he didn't mention me specifically... but it felt pretty awkward to me, just the same. I know the Church feels that procreation is pretty darned important, and I'm in no means against it. I am pro-baby, and I approve of people having them. I just don't think it's in the Plans for me.
I am the youngest of many, and never was around babies very much- I very rarely babysat (and when I did I was fairly ineffective) so I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies. We can't afford to have babies, in our current and forever situation of living very close to the financial bone. We are not savers... barely have a plan for ourselves past next week. We live in a one-bedroom apartment full of non-baby-proof stuff... our schedules are ridiculous for child-rearing- we work from around noon to around 8:00pm, and are gone on weekends quite often, doing overnights and trips, etc. It just wouldn't all fit together nicely with a nap schedule and whatnot. Day care costs almost as much as I make.
But ultimately, I feel very clearly called to ministry, (even if the way that works out is less than easy) and very clearly not called to motherhood. Does that mean that I should not have gotten married? I guess, in the eyes of the Church, that this is true, because I've created a non-creative marriage. But I can't believe that God's calling me to ministry means that I couldn't marry my true love... it just doesn't seem like something the God I know would want for me.
So on I go. But as sure as I feel, and surely directed by God, it stings to hear the pastor who hired me declare my marriage invalid because I'm not a mother.
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2 comments:
You have created a "non-creative marriage"? How is that possible? How can a person in this day and age say something like that?
How can a marriage devoted to love and eachother, devoted to Ministry and saving the world from one more plastic bag be noncreative?
How can a family who has "friends" for dinner, all kinds of friends, be non-creative?
How can a family that prays together and laughs together and on the rare occ. has a royal battle together be non-creative?
What is more creative than seeing in God's plan a different path than the common one? To seek out His Will and make a family of two, dedicated to eachother and the Family of Man?
Non-creative indeed!
Okay, I'm commenting, and after reading your latest (11/13/06) my comment should go through, no?
SO...I'm not Catholic as you know, and I'm not really sure WHAT I am, but I do know that a marriage between any two people who are in love is a pretty great union, regardless of whether they have children or goldfish. And that could lead me to comment on the Catholic view of gay marriages...but I won't. It should be obvious.
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