Okay, I want to say that I LOVE doing service with kids, I love that we can be a resource and entry point for kids and families to reach out to others in Christ's name. It's just that I think we're, collectively, as a church, LYING to kids and families if we tell them that doing a certain number of hours means that they're "ready" to receive a Sacrament. A parent called yesterday, angry that she hadn't been personally notified of the service night last night. (Aside: we put it in the BULLETIN. I understand that not everyone goes to Mass but I find it kind of wild that someone who doesn't go, would call and complain that they don't know what's going on.) Anyway, I tried to explain to her that we wouldn't hold back Confirmation from a kid because she didn't show up to tonight's programming. I explained to the Mom that the Candidate and the Candidate's family really are responsible for preparing her, and that we offer everything- service opps, retreats, classes... are there as resources for a family to help them prepare their teenager for the Sac. of Confirmation. I explained to her that the Confirmation program is not meant to be a weeding out process. That the Church wants EVERYONE who is Baptized to be Confirmed.
She said: "wait a minute, are you trying to tell me that she didn't HAVE TO go serve at the soup kitchen??"
(Aside#2: I feel bad putting up this person's remarks, in case someday I become famous and everyone finds my blog and scours each entry for nuances and clues to my personality... but in all honesty, I have have this same conversation with a hundred Moms. From several different towns. When I relayed the conversation to Scott last night, he spoke the mother's lines before I could. All YM's know this conversation. ])
So, here's the rub- making service a requirement kind of takes away the point of doing service! It's like the difference between giving money to charity and paying taxes. It is the age-old problem of shooting for the head, when faith must be a matter of the heart. There has got to be a better way to do this.
Was it Mike Moseley who told about watching one ship after another come around the point and run into the same sand bar, because they were using old, out-of-date maps? We can't move the sand-bars, we've built them! It's time for a new map.
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1 comment:
Margo I love you. I think service requiremnts while awkward are an ok requirement. The point is not to do a minimum or maximum but too encourage kids to think of service as part of BEING a Catholic.
AS for the Mom. She feels I imagine very defensive about the Church. In light of recent events who can blame her. But she sees anyone who is part of the church like a YM as THE church. So patience. What you said to her was clear and respectful. How she takes it is her issue not yours. You did the right thing with grace and humor.
Some people get nervous on the phone and come across as attacky. Her kid probably shouldve been the one to call but didnt. The moms frustration may haev been at you or maybe the church or maybe at herself and her kid. Pray for the parents and the children will be fine!!!!
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