Saturday, September 16, 2006

too much to say

For as far back as I can remember, I've loved to write- not just loved to, I have needed to write. In college, when times were hard and I was struggling, and my heart was being broken by some fella, I had two remedies. I bought Symphony bars (we called them "sympathy" bars) and if things were really bad, I'd by myself a nice, new, black pen. Nothing fancy, just something that would write my feelings out in a lovely, serious, black black ink. My notebooks in college were full of brain-drippings, funnelled through my nice black pens.
Since college, I've filled plenty of journals- at times I would write every day, on and on, but at other points, you might see weeks or even months between entries in my journals. But still, and probably forever, whenever I hit crisis and struggle, it's like a physical need- I've got to write. It's almost as if I need to start writing to see what comes out. As that old quote goes, "How do I know what I think until I see what I say?"
So, now comes blogging, and suddenly everything is public and friends keep sending me articles about bloggers who've been drummed out of society for what they've written and now have to live on the river's edge wearing sackcloth. It's hard for me not to let my brain drip onto my keyboard, and out into cyberspace but I do know that it's important to be careful. So, the opposite situation happens- now, when I struggle the most, I step away from the blog because it's too risky to be truthful, too public a place to be private on.
Which is to say, if you don't see me posting much (like lately), it's probably because I have too much to say.

2 comments:

HerMajesty00 said...

Margo I am telling you, you need to come up with a shadow Blog to reveal your dark side.
Instead of Too Bad its Raining by Margo, it could be Here Comes the Sun by Nargo....what do you think?
You could also do like my mom use to. Write it all out and tuck it away. After a week pull it out, if it still is your truth then print it. Or journal at home and post to the world when you feel it can be sanitised for public consumption. Granted Mcdonalds is no great restaurant but its not bad for average. So an average blog of Margo is still better than nothing...n'es pas?

"Knights in white satin never reaching the end. Letters I've written never meaning to send" said...

you should have been a carpenter - you are good at hitting the nail on the head (PS: it's never too late if you are thinking of a career change!). People tend to think that new technology is always better and are quick to discard the old, tried & true methods. It happens if every aspect of our lives. Pen & paper have worked very well for well over a thousand years - with good reason. My darling wife tried to tell me that blogging is generally not done for feedback, that it is just a private journal for most people. I said that's what a notebook (not the laptop kind) is for (or even the c;\ drive). I figure that anyone who publishes their thoughts on the internet has to expect that people will read it and possibly respond - no matter how anonymous one might take care to be. She thinks I'm a simpleton to think this way (OK - I'm a simpleton, but that's not the proof of it!)
SO - my un-asked for comment - write as much as you need to (paper). Share as much as you care to (blog).
We love being privy to your thoughts and feeling (even if we sometimes need to read between the lines) because you make us feel like we are important to you. We hope you will keep sharing with us, but we are totally suportive of being kept on a "Need-to-know" basis.
As much as my rambling comments might suggest otherwise, this blog is supposed to be about YOU and should be a useful release valve for YOU. It shouldn't be your only release valve (or even your best one).