Today went better, except for a marathon trek across campus to the bookstore, but I'll get to that in a bit.
I am learning a lot about being back in school again, trying to gauge just how hard this is going to be to do and to manage. A whole new world has opened to me and it's a very nice but very uncomfortable place to be teetering. How much do I want to venture into this new world? I'm not in the market for a whole new passel of friends but I want to be friendly and I'm sure I'll need to be working with these people in the future. I'm sure friendships will happen, but I'm willing for it to take a while. I think I'll end up really liking my seminar class and my advisor, and I already know a couple of fellow students by sight and by name, so there you go. Am I being friendly enough though?
I forgot, again, how much it sucks to be new at something. I guess it's like they say childbirth is- awful and difficult and painful, but once you're past it you forget- at least enough to go ahead and make changes when you have to again, and be new again. I walked through the main campus today and saw all the undergrads pretending to feel so confident, and I'm glad to be old enough to NOT have to be that guarded. I know that next week it'll be easier, and the week after that... so, I'm not as worried as I may read here.
One thing that is going to have to change is that I need a new route to school, especially for the 10 am class. I know there are great back sneaky around-the-city routes, but I haven't gotten the word yet. Today I spent more time in the car getting to and from class than I did IN the actual class. Yeauggh. I learned that people lean on their horns in Boston, just like they do on New York tv-shows. I learned that when you're dead-stopped in Kenmore Square, you can get a good bit of reading done. I learned today that I already do know how to take notes (I was afraid it was a skill I had lost, or never really had- I remember a lot of doodling in college notebooks), and I learned that campus distances are often farther than they appear on the map. So, I'm learning all right!