baaaad Catholic

Lent is a busy time for Youth Ministers- there's something about the season of Lent that lets people feel okay, even righteous, about adding on some spiritual focus and discipline to their lives. We YM's grab the chance to offer great ways for kids and families to do just that, and in my case, that has meant a constant rush, full-on run from Ash Wednesday to Holy Week. I've had something every night, and have been even double-booked, home late and dying to sleep in mornings. But I promised for Lent that I would get up every morning and walk to Mass at my local parish. Okay, Mass is at 9- not really all that early- but in the throes of Lenten exhaustion, it's darned near dawn.
So, I have done a terrible job at this promise this year- I skip when it's too cold (it's been below FREEZING!), or there's a funeral at the parish (which really is only kindness to the poor mourners, as I look like hell in pajamas at AM Mass), or I am just too flat- out tired (did I mention I've been tired lately?), or I have an early morning meeting (hey, what can I do about that?). And as if it isn't hard enough to be disciplined for myself, this year Scott has joined me and we've been terrible influences on each other.
My OTHER Lenten promise, which was giving up flour and sugar, has also been a dismal failure. And the worst part about that is, it's JESUS' fault! Well, here's what happened. For Lent, I offered a study of the Gospel of Mark for my adult leaders. The study has been fascinating, and really rewarding, and one of the themes I've glommed onto is Jesus' confrontation of the leaders for missing the point- for focusing more on the rules than on the relationship with God- like here: "The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath." (Mark 2: 27) See? He says the fasting and the rules are not the point to dwell on. Concentrate your efforts on your faith and relationship, not on trying to lock-step in time with the rules. And because I am such a good Christian, I have definitely NOT focused on the rules.
I was planning to get back on the horse tomorrow and walk to Mass, but I hear it's going to be wicked cold. Maybe I'll do an Easter devotion of walking to Mass. That would be nice...