Aim High, Shoot Low

We are in the midst of the beginning of lots of change in our Archdiocese. I have no idea where I'll be, or what our parish will look like, five years from now. But at least, we're trying to be proactive and do some planning, be transparent and honest, and think big about the possibilities. I'm reading up on pastoral planning and trying to fill my toolbox. In all the leadership books I read, they talk about successful organizations being willing to try new things, to think "outside the box," to be willing to fail and learn and change courses when things aren't working.
I'm cool with that. I want to try new things at the parish, and I'm pretty comfortable with re-do's. I think it's a matter of attitudes, a matter of looking differently at same-old situations. Maybe it's because I'm the youngest kid in my family that I quickly get annoyed at hearing that my ideas won't work, couldn't work, before we get to even give things a try. I've been hearing it since I was little. But hey, maybe that's the life of an innovator.
A couple of years back I started urging the staff at our parish to stop assuming the worst of our parishioners. I wanted us all to stop saying things like "they won't understand" or "no one will come to that" or "that's too serious/deep/traditional/etc. for our people." I wanted us to start saying things like "let's try it, and see who comes" and assuming that our people were faith-filled, wanted to know God and grow in their faith. It was a HARD habit to break, and lately we've begun to fall back into old habits of assuming our people are shallow and half-hearted.
But I'm starting to realize I'm as guilty as my co-workers. As a youth minister, my default position with teenagers was that they didn't know much about the faith, that they were doubters- seekers, but doubters- and that they needed convincing. It's a much more comfortable position to be in as a teacher, where you know more and are more secure than your students. Working with adults, I'm afraid I've kept starting from that default position, assuming the groups I work with are illiterate about the faith. But the fact is, most of the parents in my GOF group are very faithful people, with a real dedication to the Church and to their family's faith. I'm just starting to realize that I need to teach to those people in my groups, rather than shooting for the lowest levels and trying to convince. What does that kind of teaching look like? I'm not so sure... but it's something I want to think about more.
As we begin this scary pastoral planning process, I want us all to go in assuming the best of our people- not to say "this won't work" or "they won't want to do this" but instead, thinking about how this church of people can become better evangelizers, more faithful, grow stronger and go deeper.

Expecting

I imagine that turning the Big 4-0 is a different experience for people who have kids. I can only guess that when you have kids, you must measure your life against theirs, to some extent- and that turning 40 with kids who are 5 years old must mean something different than turning 40 when your kids are 20 years old. Know what I mean? My mother had 5 kids when she was my age- FIVE! The thought of one kid overwhelms me.
But not having kids means all I really have to measure my life against is myself, my own dreams for where I would be at this point in my life.
When I got my first Youth Ministry job, I had no way of knowing that I would end up with a heart for faith formation- NEVER dreamed I'd be going to grad school for religious education- I hadn't any idea how much I would suffer in my vocation, never thought my faith would be shaken like it has been, and never in a million years would have envisioned the job I'm in right now, NOT in youth ministry and loving it like I do.
When I told my spir. director how excited I am in my life right now, with so much great stuff on the horizon, so many opportunities for growth coming toward me, she asked how it felt to be in the "not there yet" phase. I said "it feels like pregnancy- like women must feel when they're in happy pregnancies- happy and hopeful and dreamy, excited for the future. It feels like the kind of pregnancy I want!" She said "woah- Margo!" and she was right. Woah. I am feeling all the hope and courage and excitement that I didn't feel when I was pregnant with a baby.
So here I am, almost 40 (about a month and a half to go!) and Expecting.... great things.

who's got the box?

I went to a regional meeting of Religious Ed professionals today to catch up on all the latest hubbub with the Archdiocese. This is a tough diocese in which to work- it's very hard to feel safe and secure, whether you work for a parish, or at the diocesan level. Recently the RCAB has offered packages to employees who have been there for many years- and it has caused some real discomfort among, specifically, the religious education community.
I think it's pretty much agreed across the board that the paradigm for religious education that we have been using for too long... is not the best way to help young people be formed in their faith. Changes do need to happen. But as we "in the field" watch the movements and decisions of the hierarchy, it does make us all wonder- what is the face of faith formation in this Archdiocese to be?
Because decisions and changes are being made without the contribution or consultation of anyone in the field (at least, not that I've heard of so far) it creates an environment of fear. Who is making the decisions that will change our jobs? I just hope that somewhere, somehow, there is an actual, overarching, long-range, forward-thinking GOAL. A very wise man I know said it best- he said that it seems like they are trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle, but they don't have the picture on the box to go by. It's a hard way to put things together, and I hope it'll work better than I suspect it will.

Here comes Lent

Tonight at our Faith Festival we study the upcoming (and soon!) seasons of Lent and Easter. This year Lent could be a completely different experience for me. I've been in a Lent rut for the past several years, identifying closely with Jesus' suffering because I was suffering for my ministry, too. I have, as my Lenten practice, walked to daily Mass, and changed some dietary something. My Lenten Slogan each year was "He DIED for me, I'll DIET for him".
But this year, I'm not so much suffering. How are you supposed to do Lent while being all happy and stuff? My new schedule means going in to work earlier, which means my walk to church is out. I will miss that discipline- I liked walking through the snow and ice at the beginning of the season and knowing that by Easter, grass would be greening. Of course, this year with Lent starting so early, it probably won't be very spring-like when Easter rolls around anyway. I do want to continue with daily Mass, but going to my parish at 9 means leaving by 8:30 and with morning traffic, that really should be 8:00. That's out. There's a 12:15 Mass down the street from my parish, but I've been once and it was pretty dreadful. Maybe that'll just have to be my penance. Maybe I'll drive to the 9:00 here in town, then keep on driving to work. Yeah, that'll work...
But I do want to do something dietary, and not just because I'm feeling a bit blimpy (as I always do this time of year) but because I feel so joyful and thankful, I want to show my gratitude by being a better steward of the life and body God has given me. We'll see.
When I was young I used to give up obscure things like Orange American Cheese, or Macadamia Nuts, or something like that- easily avoidable. In college I tried giving up soda every year, and failed miserably every year. Later on in life, I gave up fried foods and found Fridays to be fairly tricky- unfried fish at that time was a bit out of my price range and too much tuna fish is just... too much.
So, we'll see. And, we'll see how it feels to sacrifice from a place of non-suffering. Should be interesting...

Grab the rope

I've been thinking a lot lately about how parents form their children's beliefs. It's come up often in first Eucharist and Reconciliation prep, and now in Baptism prep too. Today at First Reconciliation class I was listening to the teacher tell the parents that they have to be careful that their own fears or negative feelings about rec. won't color their children's feelings about the sacrament. I think parents have to make this choice all the time- a parent who hates going to the dentist must sell it to their kids as a great thing to do, and they do it knowing that having one's teeth cleaned is good for everyone, even if it's uncomfortable and unpleasant.
The parents were reminded that at the First Rec. service, they too will be invited to partake in the Sacrament- and their kids will be watching. It reminded me of a time I went rappelling with a group of teenagers who I worked with at a residential treatment center. I was all for the trip and for all of them facing their fears and slipping down the rock face- the tall, scary rock face. I knew they would walk away from this experience exhilarated, proud of their accomplishments, and braver and better as a person. Yay for the kids!
One by one, the kids said "what about YOU? Are YOU going down the rock face?" and over and over I said "ohhhh you know, I want to make sure ALL of YOU get to go, in case we run out of time. I'm happy to SACRIFICE my turn so that you can have this IMPORTANT experience."
But my kids did not take my crap. They wanted me to try this crazy, dangerous activity, this one that called for new bravery- they wanted me to show them that not only did I believe in its importance for them, but also for me. And of course, they were right.
And now it's time for me to step up to the rope again, because here I am teaching parents how important it is for them to model this Sacrament, and I haven't been in nearly Forever. But, just to make sure everyone else gets a chance, I'll go to another priest. In another parish. Out of town. :)