This week really has been a roller coaster of emotion for me. I met with my spiritual director this morning and she verified for me that my feelings of exhaustion are well-earned. There really has been as much joy as sadness in the last week, but just the sheer... I don't know... volume of it... has taken a toll on me. I told her about how my desk and house have been a mess, my laundry undone, I keep losing stuff, and this weekend I backed into a truck parked across the street from our house. So very much NOT like me, any of that. She reminded me that these all are legitimate and normal parts of the grieving process. The grieving process! How about that!
Now we're scrambling for the possibility that we can join our youth ministry friends on retreat near the Cape. I could be SO productive here at home, but it would sure be nice to be there. Just the decision is too much for me right now. My life is good and I know how blessed I am but I guess I'm just in emotional overload.
It would help if the darn sun would come out.
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About Me
- margmor
- I'm a career Youth Ministry Coordinator, now serving as a Pastoral Ministry Managers in the largest Collaborative in the Boston area...married to the Best YM in the Archdiocese. On my office bulletin board, an illustration from St. Joseph's Baltimore Catechism shows two boys wearing baseball mitts looking out a window. One says "Too bad it's raining." The other replies, "When we accept things like this from God without complaining, it helps to clean the selfishness out of our souls." That just cracks me up.
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3 comments:
It is funny how being just plain emotionally worn out does not seem reason enough to step back and rest. I wonder why that is?
I was a resident advisor in college when one of the guys on my floor died during a hiking accident over spring break. I was alerted by my resident director and asked to be present while his parents came to pack his room. I also had the task of contacting all of the other guys on the floor to pass along the news and information on the funeral.
I went immediately into soup-bringer role. That is the person who coordinates efforts and takes care of the details while others grieve. It was two weeks later that I hit exhaustion level. It was like hitting a brick wall. At that point I needed to just stop and rest. It was the only way that I could refocus.
There were some interesting points along the way. I will never forget the ceremony held on campus after everyone returned from break. Three women each took turns sharing how they thought they were the last person to see him before he headed out on the fatal hiking trip. Knowing Patrick, he would have been laughing about the way they were competing for the same honor.
Sorry you had such a rough week. I hope you're feeling better. If it's any consolation, by the time I got there on the 30th, the house looked great!
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