Don't say it!! (two new posts)

I know you've been waiting and waiting for me to blog, and I haven't in a while, but here I am. Remember that I generally don't blog when things are going badly... but here's the thing. I haven't blogged in a while because I've been a little afraid to say... I'm HAPPY. Yikes!
My new job is awesome. Wonderful staff, great pastor, great faith formation ministry. Great people! Great Masses!! Even my office is pretty bitchen! Good computer, good salary, I'm even getting better gas mileage with this new commute.
I'm finding that this new happiness, it's kind of uncomfortable... I have been fighting and battling in my job, in this Church, for so long- forever-- now how am I supposed to handle being in such a good place? And, admitting to this happiness... well it's really asking for trouble, isn't it?
Remember that series Once and Again? Near the end of the series, one of the characters is visiting her therapist, and telling her that she's happy. Life is good- her relationship, her kids, her work, life is good and she's happy. She walks out of the office and it's a lovely sunny day, and she's smelling the sweet air, and feeling the sun on her face, and BAM! She gets hit by a car. I keep thinking of that scene, now that I am feeling so happy. I guess I was taught at an early age that the key to happiness is keeping your expectations low. The whole list of Beatitudes is built on this premise. Suffer now, enjoy the payoff later. But I guess we'll see.
Maybe this is my new spiritual challenge- to feel the blessings of God without looking for the cosmic slap- to find and feel contentment... it's a whole 'nother ball game for me. But I'm willing to give it a try!!