Mortality Moments

I made it all through the weekend and through a really tough day today, and here I sit blubbering after a father-centered How I Met Your Mother episode, even though it's a story that doesn't resemble mine in the least. I just ate almost an entire package of Trader Joe's Almond Clusters, and some lovely wine, and I'm totally exhausted.
It's just... my parents got so old, so fast! How did I miss that? I mean, I knew they were getting older, I've seen the difference over the years, but it still somehow seems so surprising.
I used to think about people getting old, and wonder- the very last time they skied, or did a cartwheel, or ran, or skipped, or played catch... did they know it was their last time? Would that make a difference? A major reason that I got the surgery two years ago now was so that I could run again before I die. That's so grim, I know! But I'm not ready to do things for the last time. Already I'm facing the mortality of my eyes- all my life I thought it would be so cool to have glasses, and now I do, and I can never again not need glasses. Same thing- I totally knew it was happening, but now that it's happened, and can't un-happen, it seems so shocking and sudden.
Today at work we met as a staff to plan for our pastor's absence, as he is having bypass surgery. We all prayed along as our Parochial Vicar anointed him. Outside, snow fell and interrupted our new spring, and I felt deflated, and adrift. I know I'm not the first or last to face mortality- mine or my own. I'm not leaning to the optimistic, nor the pessimistic side... both seem tempting, but both seem, well, too easy.
We read this Sunday's Gospel, where the woman at the well said “I know that the Messiah is coming, the one called the Christ; when he comes, he will tell us everything.” I thought, yes, that is what I want- I want to know how it all turns out. Also, I want to stop the clock.

He looked fuzzy in my glasses

Yesterday was my first time in class with my new reading glasses. I was seated at the back of a large room (next to my former campus minister from freshman year in college, as it turned out!) so I was looking at the professor from pretty far away, and then looking down at my reading and notes.
I've always wanted glasses. I always thought people looked really cool in glasses, and love the accessory-ness of them. When I was in college, someone had a fake pair that we passed around, and I did my homework wearing them once or twice- I felt bona-fide smarter when I read with those things on (although now that I think about it, since it was the late 80's/early 90's, they were probably gargantuan and red...). I knew the day would come that I'd need glasses- there's precedent in my family- in fact, I think I'm the last to go over to the shiny side. I always thought I'd look pretty good in glasses, and looked forward to the day that I'd have a ready headband at my nose-tips. I love the look of glasses-as-headband.
But now I see that this is going to be trickier than I had thought. When I had my glasses on, my professor looked fuzzy (as opposed to him looking fuzzy with my glasses on... oh, never mind...) but with them off, I couldn't read very well. I ended up either peering out over them like a scary old lady or pushing my notebook arm's length away from me on the table.
I probably should go to an actual eyeglasses place, and see an actual eye doctor... wasn't that one of my "9 for '09?" Maybe being back in class will inspire me.