Joyride

This week we celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary! I can hardly believe it. My parents tell a story that on their first anniversary Dad said to Mom "it feels like we've been married forever" (or some version of that). He meant it in the nicest way possible, and she took it in the worst way. I think that's what marriage does to a couple.
Ha! Just kidding.
Anyway, looking back over ten years, it does seem like it's gone impossibly fast, and like we've been forever together. I can barely remember what life was like before Scott came along.
To celebrate, we're going on a schmancy trip! We're going to an exotic New England location, and staying in a classy inn, and getting massages, and having dinner that we'll dress up for! I obsessed for a month about where to go, sending Scott daily email destination suggestions (who was totally distracted with Confirmation and graduation Mass and retreat, and various and sundry other things) and fantasizing about spending a lot of money on frivolous things. But not too much money. I feel some pressure to celebrate up this significant anniversary (significant because it's, like, an even number, I guess... they've all been fairly significant so far though.) Now that we've booked and it's practically here I am trying not to look at travel things anymore, like the Yankee Magazine I just bought, and trying not to get so excited that I wreck the whole thing, like someone hugging a kitten to death.
BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO GO!! And, you know, 10 years is something worth celebrating. So cheers to Scott My Love, and thank you for so far.

happy anniversary!

It's our ninth anniversary (pottery or willow, if you're wondering...) and we are feeling pretty blissful. As I type, Scott is up and getting ready to take me out to breakfast to celebrate. Dinner together is out this week because we have too many other things going on, so he surprised me by waking me up BEFORE my alarm clock went off... that is EARLY for Scott... to invite me to breakfast.
While he was in the shower I switched on NPR, and listened intently to the story of Al and Tipper Gore's divorce. 40 years of marriage and they're calling it quits. When I was first married stories like that would have scared me to the core- but now I just ponder them. 40 years!
On the story, they interviewed a person who said we should consider their 40 years before divorcing as a "celebration of life" rather than a failure of marriage. After all, people are living so much longer than they used to. Are we really to expect that people will live with one spouse for 75 years??
I guess the missing point here is the reverence of the sacrament. We were advised, when we got married, to consider The Marriage as a third "person" in our relationship. We were to take as good care of The Marriage as we were to take care of each other. I do have much respect for this Marriage, and what it's shown us about each other, ourselves, life, and God. We promised "forever" not only to each other, but to our families, friends, and to God. Even when it's hard, I could never leave this marriage.
Of course, I imagine Al and Tipper may have made such bold statements at year 9 of their 40. But I'm not worried. Maybe their marriage was doomed just for the fact that it didn't have Scott in it. I'm blessed to have Scott and This Marriage.

Tortoise and Hare

The other day after I had finished my first glass of iced coffee, I was making breakfast for Scott, and he asked if I wanted some more. I said "sure, I'll have some." He filled my glass to the brim. To Scott, "some" can very easily mean "all." It got me thinking about the two of us, and how different we are in some ways.
Scott is impetuous. He gets an idea in his head and just goes ahead and starts. I am more inclined to wait and let things develop, make sure things are set, get things ready. He just goes. When I need a new car (or anything new, really) I do research, comparison shop, check the finances, read customer reviews... he gets to shopping. When I get in a pool, it is an inch at a time. He dives.
Well, you get the picture.
Over the years (8 to be exact, this Tuesday) we have learned a lot from each other. He has learned how to slow himself down, and doesn't spend like he used to. On the other hand, I have learned to be a bit more free. It's only in the last year that I realized that I could indeed buy two cartons of milk, or two dozen eggs, or whatever, rather than buying one, using it up, and then going to the store for more. I don't know why it feels so decadent to me to buy two cartons of milk, but there you go.
We are indeed good for each other. He can get me up and moving and I can slow him down. The other day he said to me "we are a good team." He's right.

Happy Anniversary, our-style

Tonight, for our 7th wedding anniversary, we went out for a romantic dinner, and then walked on the beach, kissed by the shore, and took the long way home.









Well, our version of this romantic story is this: we went to Skip's in Merrimac, an old-fashioned burger joint that sells its burgers flat and greasy and with a heaping side of curly fries. It's become a tradition for us, since one aimless anniversary when we were broke (as usual and as we are this year) and didn't plan ahead... our road trip took us to this happy place and we've gone back every year since then. It's not fancy and it suits us perfectly.

After that we went to Plum Island to walk the beach and look at the sunset. We got there just in time to see the pretty colors but the tide was high and the sand was damp- and cold. So, we did some requisite beach kissing and headed for home, stopping for snacks on our way.
Now we're back in our favorite spots in the living room, in our jammies and cozied up for the night.
Thing is, all our days and nights are pretty great, so there's no need to go all out on the anniversary- it's great to remember where we were 7 years ago today, but it's even better being here now.