It's our ninth anniversary (pottery or willow, if you're wondering...) and we are feeling pretty blissful. As I type, Scott is up and getting ready to take me out to breakfast to celebrate. Dinner together is out this week because we have too many other things going on, so he surprised me by waking me up BEFORE my alarm clock went off... that is EARLY for Scott... to invite me to breakfast.
While he was in the shower I switched on NPR, and listened intently to the story of Al and Tipper Gore's divorce. 40 years of marriage and they're calling it quits. When I was first married stories like that would have scared me to the core- but now I just ponder them. 40 years!
On the story, they interviewed a person who said we should consider their 40 years before divorcing as a "celebration of life" rather than a failure of marriage. After all, people are living so much longer than they used to. Are we really to expect that people will live with one spouse for 75 years??
I guess the missing point here is the reverence of the sacrament. We were advised, when we got married, to consider The Marriage as a third "person" in our relationship. We were to take as good care of The Marriage as we were to take care of each other. I do have much respect for this Marriage, and what it's shown us about each other, ourselves, life, and God. We promised "forever" not only to each other, but to our families, friends, and to God. Even when it's hard, I could never leave this marriage.
Of course, I imagine Al and Tipper may have made such bold statements at year 9 of their 40. But I'm not worried. Maybe their marriage was doomed just for the fact that it didn't have Scott in it. I'm blessed to have Scott and This Marriage.
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Margo when Don and I were getting married it was the 'in' thing to say marriage was 50 50. You give half, your spouse gives half and there you go. This was in 1983. But our preCana advisor asked us all "So what happens when you have terrible stress at work and you can only give 35 % or 25 %? What happens if you have a desparately ill child or money stresses and you can only give 2%? Marriage is 100% every day, a decision to love. If you are giving 100% and your spouse is giving 100%, then during those hard times, illness, work stress, family obligations, between the 2 of you there will be enough to get through."
No one ever really tells you that sometimes marriage is just plain hard work.... but no one ever tells you about rolling over in bed at night, accidently brushing your spouse's hand and having him without ever fully waking up reach out to hold your hand...
Congrats on number 9 to two wonderful people who have commited themselves to a Sacramental Marriage....love to you both
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